So fucking weird!!!!

I am not kidding you my life is so weird all the time! I cant even begin to tell you all the weird stuff that happens to me every day. Like right now I am sitting at my security officer desk in a bullet proof jacket typing this. I think the last time I typed something I was working for the department of veterans affairs You know taking care of elderly veterans and doing special events. Well that all went bad when my Girl friend at the time got all crazy, it was like four days before Christmas. She had decided to start drinking after work, for one she is and emotional drunk and two she has a hard time not over doing it. Well the stress of failing her collage compass test and the bills and the fact that my child support is so high we latterly where having to go to food banks to feed our house hold. Very Shameful stuff. About this time we took in a guy named Brice he was 26 years old, well he took it upon himself to start a romantic relationship with her daughter and got her pregnant, her daughter was almost 17 at that time. Well to make a long story short my Girlfriend flipped out on me after a night of drinking. Nothing she said was truthful or even relevant to life in any way, just a bunch of drunk crazy talk well any how it was abusive so I decided to leave her. I then moved in with my parents and started looking for a place to live. I decided to room mate with A girl named Susan and well one thing lead to another and I started sleeping with her. He is very nice and I have known here for a very long time Just a bit of a back story on her. I met Susan a long time ago when she was married to my friend Shaw, but later divorced Shawn because of his drug usage and criminal behaviors. She had Megan her daughter when they where married. Any how Shawn did not live very long because he was killed by two girls in the Boise foot hills by a base ball bat, they beat him to death because they want to know what it was like to kill some one. Well to tell you the truth this is just the skinny of all the crazy stuff that has happened up untill this point and to tall you the truth I will most likely add a few other things to this later and edit it and re-edit it. but for right now I think this is good.

My real girl friend

My girlfriend in real life is nothing like my wife in the dream world. Normally I am not attracted to blound woman at all in fact I am attracted to dark haired or redheads. My real girlfriend Kyra is 6.0 full figured with very full large breasts. She's got a Victorian build that is very yummy with a kinky sex drive that would kill most men.

Very hot by most stander's guys are always trying to get her into bed. She has very beautiful eyes that are a golden brown. And boobs not tits but very full D size breasts!

She works in the health care field and is a very loving woman, not as understanding as my wife but very suportive. I can't tell her about my dream world because she personalizes everything and is very emotional.

Who is she?

I have thought about drawing her or writing about her more often but I fear that my real life girlfriend will mistake it for me wanting or comparing her to Ashley. Funny I do wright about my real life in my dream world and Ashely reads about it. She is interested and engaging very supportive except for the not being able to have kids thing, she's still punishing me for being less than compassionate about her feelings. I also talk to a psychologist who has access to my blog.  Ok back to Ashley she's about 5.9 with blond curly hair toe head blond all natural, she is slim about 120 lbs she runs her own pottery/gift shop and is very creative she mostly breaks even in her business affairs but she is warm and smart in her demeanor. She has very blue eyes and wears cosmetic contacts that make her eyes an unreal electric blue. She's an attractive woman with a nice build, nice hips, A size breasts and kinda a small nose with full lips. Above avrage looks, she dresses kinda like a hippy with broom skirts and V-neck sweaters that give you a little peek at her swooped small perky tits. Hmm I will see if I can find a pic that best represents her looks.

She go's bra less a lot, not so much at work but around the house. 

This is the closest I could find of what she looks like with a small nose and big pouting lips and bigger eyes. To me she looks like an anime version of a human.

This is by far the closest I could find to a picture of what she looks like except a lot older and less youthful. She's very down to earth and kinda playful very understanding.

The pain is real

Testing the boundarys of my dream world is an odd thing! I can't account for the many expairements I have done just short of jumping off a building. I have done things with water and gravity and I feel like I am working against my own mind how can you prove something to be false when your mind makes it happen or react the way it is sopost to. Then to have things in my real life happen that are just unbelievable doesn't help. Both worlds go neck and neck when it comes to real problems, relationship or other wise. The life of an insurance sales person. If you think that I am only blogging in this world your very wrong! My wife Ashly some times reads my posts and she seems to think that I have made up this world to add to what would be considered a boring life. Back to the expairements one thing I have started doing in my dream world is reading news papers, because I read in my real life you can't read books or news papers in the dream world because your mind can't fabercate that type of info. Funny I read stuff in my dream world as if in real life I will probally stop doing this soon I have a feeling if my brain has to work over time to produce that type of info I might be hurting myself by causing falts memories.

We'll it did not work

Well I went to bed very late and slept till about 5 am. I woke up in my house in Manchester. It's a two story house that is white. My wife Ashly was eating a bowel of rice crispy, "her favorite morning food." She seemed to be OK, you know acting normal. She then looked up at me and asked, "do you ever regret marring a woman who can't have kids?" I snickered I don't regret anything that happens in my dreams! She then walked over to me lifted my hand up placed my middle finger in her mouth and bit down hard! I pulled back in pain, the pressure of her back teeth on top of my finger nail throbbed and burned. She smiled and said "look your dream wife just hurt you," I put my wet finger in my mouth and nursed it till the pain went away. I told her that I have always felt pain in this dream. I reminded her of when we were cleaning out the garage for the yard sale last mouth, how I turned on a clothing iron to test to see if it worked and how it burned me. I then told her I am done trying to prove that my dream world is fake. Funny my girl friend in the real world just texted me that she wants me inside of her. Hmm guess I will get back to this later. It's crazy having a real life that is stranger than my dreams!

It's late like 2am!

So the other day I tryed something in my dream world that seemed like a great idea at the time. I asked my wife Ashly as to why we do not have kids, because in the real world I have five of them. It's odd having to worry about hurting the people I love even the ones that are not real. She's real to me in every way as far as I can tell. Anyhow I did not like the reaction I got it was very upsetting and I felt very cruel afterward. Seems she had an exposure to a high level of radiation to  shrink a tumor she had over one of her overies that left her unable to have kids.

Well anyhow after she stopped crying and I was able to convince her I was not going to leave her for someone that can have kids, I explained to her as to why I asked. See in the real world I don't get to see my kids all that much and they are the joy of my life I just couldn't imagine not having them. So now I am left with having to go to bed to wake up to Ashly and she is still upset I am sure. Ok so I am thinking that if I go to bed real late it will shorten my time in my dream world some how and I won't have to deal with Ashly being upset. I know it's crazy to worry about my dream wife's feelings but it's no different than me having to worry about my girlfriends feelings in real life. She's going to be mad I came to bed so late and she has to be up in one hour. It's now 2am I better go to bed.

The other dream

A bit of a back story. I had to work two full time jobs the whole time I was married to my first wife. I did not treat my wife the way she should have been treated. She fell out of love with me and we divorced. I had four kids with her, they are the light of my life and the only true love I have ever known. Anyhow it was five years before I found another woman to call my wife. That did not last long I was married for one year, we had a very passionate love for each other but our lives where not compatible, it became very over whelming and abusive.   So we decided to part ways and avoid each other. At this time the passionate fighting compounded with me having an adverse reaction to a medication proscribed to me to help manage my OCD landed me in the hospital for about a week. I was released from the hospital and I went and stayed with my older brother Joe. This was the start of my second dream, a dream that has not stopped. I went to bed on my brothers couch and woke up in a hospital bed. There was a woman toying with a machine, pushing buttons on it. There was a tube running from the machine to a tube that was in my nose. I reached up and touched the woman's arm and startled her. To make a very long story short doctors told me I had been in a fever induced coma from catching pneumonia for the past three weeks. Well life has gone on. Living two lives one here with my 5 kids, two divorces and struggling to survive and my other life where I live in a nice house with my wife, Ashly. In one of my dream worlds I have total amnesia. Quite honestly it's disturbing. I have tested everything in both of my dream worlds to find a flaw to figure out which one is real. I know for a fact this world I am in now is the real one.   Funny I could go on and on as to what length I have gone to, to prove that the other world is a dream. I gave up. The only thing is now I'm having a hard time recognizing my faults memories. It's a very odd thing to remember what you did yesterday from both dreams. I feel like my brain is filling up with memories from both my lives. Which would explain my nonstop head aches.